Nothing to Declare

I'm in DF again, staying at the Stanza Hotel in Colonia Roma, as usual. We took the 7 a.m. bus from San Miguel. I'm becoming a bus expert, and ETN, the line I usually take to Mexico City, is by far the most luxurious bus I've used.

It has wide leather seats - only three across - two on one side of the aisle and one on the other, and tons of leg room, with long leg rests that you can fold your legs over. (They make my legs fall asleep, but if you have long ones, they might be comfy.) There are small pillows and headphones, so you don't have to listen to the movie if you don't want to. There are two bathrooms and they are separated from the rest of the bus by a glass door (so the smell is minimized). They also offer hot water, coffee and tea in a little station between the two bathrooms, though I haven't tried it. You get a little snack when you get on the bus, and your choice of water or soda. The downside: the snack is always a mystery meat sandwich that I never eat.

My trip to the US a week ago (Grupo Senda to Austin, Transportes San Miguel from Dallas to SMA) were long - 24 hours each way. I'm told these trips are usually 16 to 18 hours, and in fairness, there were different reasons for the delays. On the way up, we got stuck in a bus traffic jam at the border - took about 5 hours to get through to Laredo, and only about an hour of that was actually going through the border process. On the way back, the bus started late (I count that in part of my total) and had to stop twice, all for repairs.

Grupo Senda is more comfy than Transportes, but it only departs from Queretaro, a big city about an hour or so from SMA, and there's a three-hour layover between buses. Transportes is the closest I've come to Greyhound in Mexico - super narrow seats, no legroom, etc. Though never on a Mexican bus have I come across the sort of just-out-of-jail sorts that you see on Greyhound.

Anyway, the bottom line is when I got on the ETN bus today, I felt like I was in heaven. Where else in Mexico does this bus go? When can I ride it again?

I've taken a couple long haul trips now - Oaxaca to SMA, SMA to Puerto Vallerta/Sayulito and back, and SMA to the US and back. Here are some things I've learned:

Bus plus: If you are a shopaholic, or don’t like to travel without your entire wardrobe, or find yourself allergic to those pesky regulation-size baggies of carry-on liquids you will love that most first class buses do not have a weight limit (or charge very little for very large packages.)

Bundle up: While many regular buses in smaller cities and towns in Mexico don’t have airconditioning, all first classes buses do. And they know how to use it. By this I mean, it’s freezing. Really. Prepare for it. I left Dallas (and Oaxaca) during 90- 100 degree weather. By this time, I thought knew what to expect – extra thick wool sweater, a fleece, thick socks (best to wear shoes you can slip on and off). Forgot that I meant to bring a blanket.

Consider drugs: After my first long bus trip, I was telling a friend that I couldn't sleep, but everyone else on the bus passed out right away and slept the whole trip. And there were tons of kids on the bus, but they never cried, or if they did, they shut up right away. How do they do it? Drugs, my friend said. I don't know if that's true, but I do know this:

Dramamine, melatonin, sleep ease, Tylenol p.m., Ambien – When I said I was taking the bus back to the states, folks came out in droves to offer me advice on - and samples of, sleeping pills. I had a little stash with me, but wound up never taking anything. Stoic? Stupid? Whatever, once again, I was the ONLY person awake on the bus. At rest stops, I asked a couple people how they sleep and dramamine, and "pills" were the most popular answers.

On food: Chances are your bus will make many stops where you can grab a torta, some chips or tacos. You'll stop too at a roadside restaurant, and I highly recommend eating wherever you stop. I've had fantastic mole, quesedillas, scrambled eggs with chorizo... Remember the bus driver is hungry too. If he's eating, chances are the food's good and you should too.

But don't forget to bring snacks. You don't have to eat them, but you should offer them to your seat mate and the folks around you. This is especially important if you are the only gringo/a on the bus and your spanish is limited. They might not accept, but either way, they will thank you profusely, consider you muy amable for the gesture and pay you back by watching your luggage, or telling the bus driver if you aren't back on the bus when it's time to leave a rest stop.

On reading: Bring three books. Forget that the lights are turned off on overnight trips and reading is impossible. Curse the weight of those books at each bus stop.

On bathrooms: They are unusually clean. This is because almost no one uses them. Try peeing when a bus hits a tope (speed bump) and you won't want to either. The bus stops multiple times. The clean restrooms at these stops are free to 30 cents. Take advantage.

The crazies: By this, I mean you.
All my bus rides have been unenventful. Not a single story of a goofball, an outburst, a colorful sort. At some point, though, usually four to six hours into a 15 hour or more ride, I start to go nuts. Claustrophobia sets in. I'm sure I won't make it. I want to scream, run up and down the aisle of the bus, or lay down in it. I can't sleep. My butt and my spine are screaming. I want to cry, curse. Why didn't I fly? Why am I stuck next to this snoring man who refuses to use the arm rest and whose right knee has invaded half my precious leg space?

When you reach this point - and you will - take deep breaths. Shifts your legs, roll your shoulders and twist your neck.

It might be helpful to think about where you're going, and all the different ways others have tried to get to the same place. In the back of an open truck. In a car that breaks down in the desert. Hitching a ride on top of a train. On a burro. By foot. You will see all these people on your journey, so it won't be difficult to imagine. You may find yourself with a sense of comfort stronger than any sleeping pill.